whuffle dull
i really wish there were a dashboard widget i could install that tells me precisely how much sleep i need and how i can get to a point where i figure out my circadian rhythms, like if you wake up opposite to the apex of a sleep cycle (which in average people is like 90m) you will feel like shit all day, or if you wake up at exactly the right time you can basically greco-roman wrestle a dragon. i wish there were some way to systematize the process, is what i am saying here. it’s plenty easy for me to check how much ram remains on my phone or how much bandwidth i’m taking up on my computer, but i can’t for the life of me figure out how little or much caffeine i should need to take in order to not fall asleep riding my bike out and still not get a headache and feel like death and take it out on any living creature i see, out of the thousands of living creatures i encounter on my commute out alone. or maybe, like, telling me to switch to black tea, or taurine, or just fucking off and popping no-doz. or some widget that would remind me on a daily basis that mountain dew amp tastes like someone pissed into a green jolly rancher. or maybe some popup that would disable my web browser and splay a message all over my monitor that reads “WARNING: IF YOU SPEND FIVE MORE MINUTES AWAKE YOUR BRAIN WILL FEEL LIKE IT HAS BEEN WRAPPED IN ITCHY SALLOW WOOL FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK” in bold italic red all-caps 72px helvetica.
i want there to be some easy, constructible answer to all of this, basically. i spend almost all of my life entrenched in the very logical constructs that technology affords, and then when i’m forced to somehow confront the constraints of my own body i just sort of flounder around and yell a lot. in the past my body just did the work for me without thinking much about it, and willpower (which i’m pretty sure i have an above-average quantity of) made up the rest. as i age this is less and less the case. but you don’t care about this. you care about this other thing: i’m going to see telepathe at the bottle tonight. i’m showing early because i heard that the opener kills it. i hope i can see you there. bring a pillow if you come, ok? we can take a nap to the vocal harmonies.
