on state/harrison on the day that they dye the chicago river green with boats, i am riding my bike (as i do) and a car pulls up too close to me (as it does). a couple is inside; the dude is driving, and the lady is reclined all the way back with her foot hanging out the window. it’s nice outside. her shoe is off for some reason, so all that is on her foot is a sock. she is sleeping, and probably drunk. her foot is about eighteen inches from my face. it is 1:00 pm. the chicago river has already been dyed green with boats. right as the light changes i tickle her foot.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!, she says, as she starts kicking the roof of the car violently. before the dude gets over his abject confusion at what is going on, i have turned right on harrison, away from my actual route, where i want to be going, into traffic, to get away.
i swear it’s too easy sometimes. it’s like god has the assist and i have the layup.
